insamnia

     Some people have the most vivid dreams that they seem like a memory. They remember every detail down to the seconds. When they tell me about their dreams I wonder if we had the same hours of sleep, their dreams are long and like a movie. Choppy, odd dreams that are difficult to remember belong to me. Most nights, when I can actually fall asleep, it feels like I just blinked and ended up in tomorrow. Throughout the night there are short moments when I wake up and wonder if I was still sleeping or just stayed awake all night.
     The strangest dreams come to me when I'm not home. One example is when I spent my night over in Staten Island. Everyone had their own room and seemed to have slept soundly. I was the only one getting tangled between dreams and reality. I know there were many more dreams, but this is the only one I actually remember, some portions of it anyway. . .
     It was dark, some sort of small room. Lights flashed from outside, but there were no windows. There was a grey table in front of me, two men standing standing still at the end. Everything is blurry from there on. One moment I'm being strangled, the next I'm starring at the ceiling in this bright room. The dream gets dark again, random white lights flash, two arms come out from behind me and try to shove something on to my face. I think they, whoever it was, were trying to blind me. All of a sudden I start choking, my tongue begins to hurt, my throat closes up. I feel like my face is going to explode into a million and one pieces. That's when I wake up, terrified and shocked. I've been biting my tongue the whole time, my teeth had created imprints on it. I was trying to control my breathing when I started to choke. I realized I was awake for sure because I stretched and my foot hit a metal bar of the bed, I felt pain. I checked my phone and I think I went back to sleep. The last thing I remember is eating breakfast in the car.
     Dreams can be special, logical, boring, or the best things to ever happen. In my case they are usually short, boring, strange, and most of all confusing. I don't understand what my dreams are supposed to mean. What I do understand is how Thomas from Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close felt when he wasn't able to fall asleep. He began to invent things in his mind, I begin to question the idea of seeping. It sounds soothing, but frightening. You never know what your mind will make you watch behind those closed eyes.